[20:55] MC: We used to be such good friends dear ______, whatever happened? [20:55] me: i quit the internet, mostly [20:55] MC: Oh, that would do it [20:55] MC: You used to be addicted to the internet [20:55] me: i'm here like a couple hours a week on average [20:56] MC: I guess a boyfriend would make me quit the internet [20:56] MC: Let me rephrase that [20:56] MC: A girlfriend [20:56] me: but you'd be gay [20:56] me: yeah. that. [20:56] MC: Right [20:56] MC: I'm not gay [20:56] MC: I masturbate to pictures of naked women [20:56] me: with horses? [20:57] MC: No. Thats gross. If I did that I'd probably laugh, then feel scarred [20:57] me: oh. okay. [20:57] me: good to know [20:57] MC: Then think about it way more deeply than any one person should [20:57] me: it's just the massive dong of a most noble beast [20:57] me: poor creature, unethically molested [20:58] MC: It's very true. It has no idea whats going on. [20:58] me: "ooh, procreation," it thinks, if it thinks [20:58] MC: Yeah [20:58] me: i wish that horse sex resulted in centaurs [20:58] MC: Meanwhile the girl is thinking "MY FUCKING GOD I"M BEING SPLIT IN TWO", and some [20:58] MC: YES [20:58] MC: I'd fuck an eagle for a winged kid [20:58] me: that is sooo wrong. [20:58] MC: What? [20:58] MC: How awesome would it be to have wings [20:59] me: man it would suck if the kid came out with a bird body and man arms [20:59] me: or a man body and a horse head [20:59] MC: Yeah [20:59] MC: Would it still be a centaur? [21:00] me: no. i don't think so [21:00] me: i think it would be a circus freak [21:00] MC: That too [21:00] me: or like what if it had horse legs and a man torso and butt and a horse neck and a man head [21:00] MC: That would just be funny [21:01] me: and a long, flowing, blonde mane [21:01] MC: Some emo chick would find him hot as shit [21:01] me: emos dig horse cock [21:01] MC: Then they'd live in some colonial house in new england [21:02] MC: He'd work at a record store, she'd be an animal therapist [21:02] me: animal rapist [21:02] me: i don't think the semicentaur would be sentient [21:02] me: it's just too fucked up to be able to think [21:02] me: it's no moral contest for an emo to rape a critter [21:02] MC: Yeah [21:03] me: he could still sell records, though [21:03] me: he could be trained, like a horse [21:03] me: made to speak, like a parrot [21:04] MC: Yeah [21:04] MC: Like. [21:04] MC: Whinny style [21:04] me: he could have a set of phrases: "that'll be 16.99 please" [21:04] me: "thank you for shopping here." [21:04] me: "i need to go poop" [21:04] MC: "The restrooms are in the back [21:04] MC: "Yes, it is that big" [21:04] me: eh heh heh heh [21:05] me: working in a record store, emos would be all over him [21:05] MC: This is why horseporn is bad [21:05] MC: Oh totally [21:05] MC: Emos flock to those places. Indie record store to be exact [21:05] MC: Like big corporate shit, emos stay away from [21:05] me: that's where you're wrong. horse porn is god's gift to the imagination [21:06] me: see all the good that just came of it? [21:06] MC: True [21:06] MC: We invented a race, and a wonderful relationship [21:06] me: it's like a fairy tale [21:08] MC: It is [21:08] MC: Emofairy tale [21:08] MC: Grimm's Fairy Tales sounds emo, but isn't [21:09] me: the emo fairy comes to prepubescent kids houses at night and leaves black eyeliner under their pillows in exchange for their unwanted backstreet boys cd's