Generally, other people are a mystery to me. Sometimes I think I know what makes them tick, and then they'll say or do something to the contrary. My current best friend is this sort of person. Everything she says she is or says she strives to be gets blurred into something else when applied to real life.

This a story about S. She's had a far busier life than I have. It is really your typical messed-up-family-life, got-into-the-wrong-crowd, took-too-many-drugs and made-bad-decisions story that leads her to this point today. She swears she's far more grown up now than she was back then, but I still see telltale signs of bad decision making.

Exhibit A: Since I've known her (October 2005-present) she has been in relationships one after another. She has what I perceive as a fear of being alone. Each of the relationships she has been in has had some kind of turmoil that brings it to an end. Her most recent and current boyfriend has broken up with her twice. They've gotten back blissfully together, but it doesn't seem as though their problems are being resolved. At first she was a psycho girlfriend, jealous and condescending. Her boyfriend and I have managed to convince her that this is no way for a young lady to act and she's toned it down as much as possible. Now she's telling me that she thinks she wants to marry him. She just turned twenty. This is so dumb it makes my brain melt. They can't even get their shit together enough to be in a functioning girlfriend-boyfriend relationship and for some fucked up reason they're of the opinion that marriage might solve their problems. Marriage is something for two people who love each other and can make their relationship WORK to do. Not for two confused young people who, half the time, aren't even sure if what they feel is love or hate.

Exhibit B: She is irresponsible. We work at the same place and are both in the process of finding higher-paying jobs. She applied and got jobs at two different places, went to a day of training at each, and never showed up again. The first place she didn't go back to because she got a job at the second place. She didn't go back to the second place because it was too snobby for her and working there made her feel socially vulnerable. I won't even get into how idiotic I think that last part is. Any fucking 'tard can work in a department store. She applied for a job at the same place I will start work soon and, once she found out they drug test, decided not to go in for her second interview and instead apply somewhere that won't force her to quit her unsavory habits. I am by no means anti-marijuana, but it does not take a whole lot of will power to quit the drug. Trust me, I was a big pothead.

Exhibit C: Attitude. She has literally no idea how unpleasant she can be to some people. I find myself fairly consistently awed by her need to seek out ways to make other people look less intelligent than she is. If you know more than someone else, fine, that's great. You don't have to use it as ammunition against them if they say something that displeases you in the slightest.

S is like a rerun of my best friend in high school, P. Except S's insecurities are magnified a great deal more. She's morally up in arms about things that aren't particularly necessary for anyone to get morally up in arms about and where her morals should be they seem to be lacking.

I'm equal parts shove her off a cliff and stick around and do my best to help her.

Fortunately my morals are all in the right place, so she has a helping hand from me when she needs it.

Next entry: my roommates and how they are pretty much the two most entertaining people I've ever met.