I just drew and colored a picture of a matronly woman with her arms spread out, hug-ready.

She's wearing an apron because she works in a bakery.

On Thursday morning, I went with my boss at the coffee shop to Sam's Club to pick up restaurant supplies. I did some heavy lifting and pulled something in my back. I can't bend over or sit down without crippling pain. I was told to go to the hospital.

Fuck that noise.

Anyway, I used the back pain as an excuse to ditch work at the phone place today. I came home and went to bed with B. This was at 2; we slept until 6:30. He's writing a paper right now. He can toss out six pages in an hour and a half. He's a beast.

This morning I found out that the crazy girl who was my best friend through most of high school shot her dad. This was in self defense.

The only thing that alarmed me about this was my complete lack of surprise that she did it. If you knew the girl, the fact that she shot her dad would make perfect sense and not surprise you either. It took her a lot longer than expected.

I want to take this opportunity to go off on a tangent about how annoyed I am with people who purposely put themselves in bad places and then act as though they can't get out of them.

I am a firm believer that life is not hard. People make their lives difficult by willfully entering into situations without consulting logic. I think it's important to be able to remove yourself from your own life and look at things from an objective point of view. If doing Thing A is going to harm you in some way, refrain from doing Thing A.

This girl has had shoddy relations with her parents for her entire life. She finally gets away from them, lives on her own, has her life in her own hands, and she engages in a situation with her father (a notorious alcoholic asshole, unstable and dangerous) knowing full well any interaction with him will end badly. She has at least ten years of evidence to this.

It didn't take me long to realize that harmful people have to be removed from my life. I'm continually astounded by people who haven't adopted this same philosophy.

And yes, of course you're thinking, "But he's her father. She can't just cut all ties with him. He's responsible for her existence. It would just be unfair. You need your family."

To this, I say take yourself out of your life and your bias and your clouded views of the importance of family. Harmful is harmful whether it's a relative or a boyfriend or a girlfriend or an employer or a(n) _________.

Blood contains a coagulant that mires people who cannot take an objective view of their lives and exist without the harmful aspects of it.

I end up giving so many people too many second chances in the blind hope that they'll realize this eventually and manage to exist in a sane and safe manner.

Also, I have a sign taped to my forehead that says, "Crazy People Come Here."

This is all part of why I don't bother with most folks.

Sorry if this entry is kind of convoluted. I'm tired as fuck; concentration is very forced right now.