My boss at the coffee shop has hired a 16 year old girl who, evidenced by the tales told by my coworkers, may be severely mentally retarded.

So today I'm going to work as everything a sixteen year old girl is afraid of.

No, not a big, black rapist.

I am going to tart myself up and give her the most shit-eating condescending smiles I can manage, I'm going to make subtle (or perhaps blatant) attempts at pointing out how dumb she is.

I've even concocted a very believable story about a government workers' database to whip her ass in shape when she decides she's going to sit there texting Scene Tina about oh my god how CUUUUUUTE is the lead singer from Local Emo Band #14.

And maybe this really isn't necessary at all. Maybe she's not as dumb as they say, but BY GOD if she is, she's in for the ride of her life today.

It'll be good for her.

Oh also I quit my call center job effective June 2 and I'm going to take up Aikido.