Here is a fact about me. Apart from B, I have no friends.

There is a girl who works at the coffee shop who is trying her semi-damnedest to get me to hang out with her outside of work. She's invited me to see a couple shows around here and I've thwarted every attempt.

I don't really know why. She's just the sort of person I'd want to have as a good friend, but I continue to stay withdrawn.

Maybe it's a result of my history with friends and I don't want to bother because she, too, will go away or betray me or be forgotten in the tumult of my next life-upheaval.

Maybe it's because I don't want to step out of my comfort zone. I have pretty distinct preferences as to how I like to spend my time: avoiding as many people as humanly possible, save one.

I hope she doesn't start thinking I don't like her. That isn't the case. The case is I'm a weenie.

This weekend B and roommate G were gone to Another City to attend a Nerd Convention. I spent the weekend at home, alone, entertaining myself with the Internet, TV, Nintendo DS, and books. Some time during the course of this entertainment-medium-filled weekend, I realized I am very dependent on B for...his presence. I haven't slept without him since we started dating, and for two nights he wasn't there; it was excruciating.

He told me he felt guilty for being away and having fun with his friends. The whole bunch went to a strip club. Roommate G insisted on buying B a lap dance, something B is not comfortable with. Now, before I go further, none of this bothered me, and I will explain later. B ended up just talking to the stripper who turned out to be a chemical engineering major. When describing the situation to me, roommate G employed the use of hand gestures to illustrate the intelligence level of the room before and after they started talking. B says he feels like he's "on the inside" now because he and the stripper (whose name I think was Jade) discussed in depth several of the aspects of the interactions between stripper and strip club patron.

I told B, when we were talking about this over dinner, that the only way I could ever get truly angry at him was if he did something to cause me to not trust him. "So something deceitful," he said, "I don't think you have to worry about that; you know when I poop."

Then we giggled.

But I think he's right. I can't see B ever doing something deceitful; it's not his nature.

And now I must go, 3 cops just came and and we must not neglect the law enforcement. They need coffee too.

9:50 AM: OLD PEOPLE PDA IS THE GROSSEST FUCKING THING I HAVE EVER SEEN. GO DO THAT BEHIND A HEAVY WOODEN DOOR WITH THE LIGHTS OUT AND YOUR CURTAINS SHUT. EEW!

Also, if you're indoors, take off your motherfucking sunglasses before you talk to me!