Know what I hate? Mottos, mantras, phrases (like the one above) that people stick on buttons that are supposed to be clever or bad ass but are really nothing but the personal philosophies of complete and utter fucktards. These phrases managed to make it into the mainstream because they are the mainstream. Most people find it wonderfully delightful and easy to relate to this shit.

Let's take a moment to analyze some of the button phrases from here in my own place of employ:

I BLAME MY PARENTS
And I'm sure if it was really their fault you would proudly display it with a black and yellow pin on your emo-hat. Grow up and start taking responsibility for your own life, you whiny asshole.

DOES IT BOTHER YOU THAT I'M ALWAYS RIGHT
Irony of the obvious punctuation error aside, this is just an invitation to be proven wrong, which you will be, and on a nearly daily basis. Enjoy the vacation in denial.

A CLEAN HOUSE IS A SIGN OF A WASTED LIFE
No, a clean house is a sign of an occupant who understands the concept of hygiene. Quit smoking pot in the park and go Lysol your bathroom, you germ-breeder.

WILL WORK FOR WORLD PEACE
Let's be realistic here. What you really mean is will buy a button to put on the strap of my messenger bag and talk to my pretentious friends about how the war in Iraq, like, totally sucks and how we should, like, totally protest it or something.

We sell other, me-approved buttons as well. Why, just the other day, I bought one that says, "no matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats."

Isn't that cute? And so true?

Okay, really, I'm sorry. I don't actually give a crap about the buttons. I just didn't have anything to write about that I haven't said before. This diary's presented to a public forum so I'm writing as much for me as I am for my audience, and I didn't want you to get bored. *sniff*