Since I graduated into actual woman-sizes, my dress size has been a 10. I have no idea how to translate that into inches for you men reading. Let's just say the girly magazines and other media which have distorted the image of a healthy body for women the world over might accuse me of being overweight.

I'm not.

I am, however, female and therefore crazy, so when I see that the mannequins at the Lane Bryant store in the mall seem to be my same size and shape (sans boobs), I have a brief crisis.

When buying pants, I go straight for the 9 through 11's, and will buy nothing larger. If it's one of those sizes but doesn't fit, too fucking bad, no new pants for me today.

If the item in question lacks an actual number size, I won't buy anything larger than an M.

I wear my panties at what is probably a size (maybe two) too small.

Apparently, the people who make bras don't expect someone my size to have such tiny boobs, so it's often difficult to find a bra I like in a comfortable size. I don't think 36 A is entirely unreasonable, do you?

My boobs are the second reason I fear weight loss. They'll disappear entirely if I go after the tight little athletic body the entire world is telling me I really ought to have.

B is a pretty thin guy, so I think I'll be okay as long as he can truthfully keep telling me I'm not fat.

And as long as his boxers are still loose on my hips.