B and I spent the last 4 days house sitting for his parents.

House sitting involves care of an extremely high-maintainence miniature pinscher named Trouble who is either 11 or 13 years old, blind, diabetic, and spoiled rotten. There were several late-night fights between me and B which consisted of argumentative grunting about who was going to take the dog (who was busy clicking his nails on the wood floor to get our attention) outside to pee or poo or both.

The dog receives shots of human insulin twice a day at mealtime.

B and I spent the weekend eating ridiculous amounts of food and sitting around on our asses, getting fat. It was really all there was to do. Friday night, we had sandwiches and sundried tomato cheese and tabouli from the international foods store, then we sat around. Saturday we picked up a metric fuckton of Chinese food and dined on that all day, then went to the mall and picked up a 9 pack of minibons from Cinnabon. Ate all of those by Monday. On Sunday I have no earthly idea what we ate for lunch, if anything, but we managed to scarf down half of a 14 inch pesto, artichoke heart, and tomato pizza for dinner. We had the rest of it for lunch on Monday. Monday night we went to this amazingly cheap and awesome deli-restaurant where we stuffed our faces with HUGE sandwiches for only $4.99 each, oh, and we had dessert too.

The point is, we ate like kings.

And I think I may've put on like 15 pounds.

I spent the rest of my weekend playing Final Fantasy 3 on my DS, and after 23 hours of time in game (that's since I got it several months ago, not all at once this weekend), I think I'm almost to the final boss.

This is exciting because the last time I tried to play a Final Fantasy game (7) on my Playstation, I was 16 hours into the first disc (there are 3) and ready to kill myself out of frustration.

I never finished it. My life was at stake.

B and I did a bad, terrible, naughty thing that I said I was not going to do while I was at his parents' house but going without it for that long proved to be an awful experience, so we had amazing sex in their shower last night. I was so wiped out after, I fell asleep playing FF3 and ended up going to bed at 9:15.

Rewinding to Sunday night, we got to see Stardust for free. Our roommate, G, works as a projectionist at the local big exciting high tech theater. We couldn't find anything at all to do because on Sunday this town basically shuts down at like 6 o'clock, so we showed up at the theater almost 2 hours early. G let us in and walked us around, showed us the public access elevator that we never knew was there, then took us behind the scenes to show us the projectors for each house and gave us a private screening of previews for some upcoming movies. One of B's friends was at the theater with a very cute 17 year old girl (who was absolutely destroying her looks by looking as though she'd put on her makeup with a trowel, also we gave B's friend shit for being out with a 17 year old because he's 24 or 25 and that's just plain ridiculous and kind of like being a pedophile even though Florida's age of consent is 16) and a group of his other friends (or maybe they were the girl's friends, I don't know). He and G joined us for the trailers and for Stardust.

Stardust was, in many ways, not like the book, but was such a good, adorable, funny, visually enticing movie that I immediately forgave any inaccuracy in the story.

To be honest with you, even though I complained all weekend about how bored I was, we had fun.

Also, I drew a dragon made of boners.

Bonerdragon.